hands

Do I dare utter

the words

even to myself

you who remain

nameless

you who are

untouchable

how I yearn

for that touch

you who consume

me yet remain

wholly unattainable

you who came

unannounced

and stayed, inked into

my skin

my being

you my truth

wrapped this broken body

gentle bandages of hope

sweet understanding as you

wrapped me with you

gentle, hard

soothingly rough

drinking the other in

deeper and deeper still

in a quest to reach the soul

I heal

only

I cannot utter

words

to say I miss you

to say I still long

for your arms

to carry me back into

that deep cavern

of peaceful bliss

the saltiness

of sweat on your skin

the cloying sweetness

of your tongue

visions

all the while bandaging

holding together

tying up the brokenness

of my thumping blistering

heart

the fragments of my soul

bliss found

remembered

cherished

I kiss the scars

of your soul still

reaching out

to let it be known

you are a beautiful tangle

scars, muscle, joy, pureness, laughter

courage, hopes unfulfilled, strength

I will heal your wounds

as you fill mine

with the balm of gentleness

your arms carried me

from the crossroads of confusion

to the palace of certainty

only

that palace was made

of illusions of smoky longing

far from reality

bites.

all our discoveries

treasures unearthed

all the joy of knowing

 as I stroked your head

peaceful in my lap

I should stop wishing

upon stars

because I had

the universe in my hands

you’ve gone

left me undone

fault lines in my

soul

a broken compass

you left a haunting

poem inside of me

and every time I

breathe out

a line exhales into

the world

only

I am not allowed

to say this

you genuine purveyor

of my soul how I miss

the stolen kisses

from your lips

you made me

a fiery hurricane

breathed life

into hollow marrow

melting the ice

in my veins into puddles

only

I am not allowed

to say

I miss your hands

your lips, your being

to mine

I yearn to trace my

fingers on your salty skin

I am wrecked

by longing

I am broken

by wanting

I am unraveled

by needing

I am not allowed

you

are

not

mine

Madison Park, July 20, 2015

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